Four years ago, I began a journey that in three months will be over. These has been the most challenging but greatest years of my life. The Lord has taught me so many things and stretched me in so many ways and its only fair if I share the things that He has taught me.
God’s Plans > My Plans
Coming into Bethel I had so many great dreams and aspirations. These dreams include finding the women of my dreams, getting married, working hard to get a great job, expanding my faith, turning from my sin, meeting new people, and make an impact in the live’s of those around me. I can say with confidence that I have accomplished a lot of these things but not in the ways that I had originally thought i would. Entering Bethel, I was very focused on achieving these things for myself and I put God on the back burner. Through trials, God has shown me that putting him at the front helps every choice we make flourish. Some of the most profound and powerful experience’s that i have been apart of at Bethel all started because I asked for his help. I can safely say that I would have never in my wildest dreams been a freshman RA, spoken in chapel, been a shift leader, read my bible daily, and so many more things without the Lord’s prompting. I am not saying this to put myself up, I am saying this because we all need to do this, including myself. I came into Bethel with the perspective that I need to go to chapel and be in bible studies for myself while at the same time I wasn’t working on my sins behind closed doors. This brought a lot of pain and deception to take place within my life. I truly believe that who you are when no one is looking shows the character of your heart. With that said I was not very happy with myself because I appeared that i had everything together for so long, but inside I was hurting so bad. I struggled with lack of self-confidence, lust, and so many other things and it wasn’t until I felt God’s prompting, through close friends, to join the shift ministry that chains began to be broken. For the first time I found out what true vulnerability and accountability looked like. I learned that I wasn’t alone in my pain and struggles. I learned that God was right along side me each and everyday. What I want people to know is that God loves you more then you can ever try to fathom. He wants what is best for you, if you are willing to listen and trust him. There will be struggle but God’s plan will make you more happy then you can ever possibly imagine. i promise you this because my life and who I am today is a walking testimony of these ideas and I thank the Lord for that.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:25-34
God Loves Us So Much
Something that I feel that God has shown me over and over again is that He loves me. I know that sounds so basic but to me it is so profound. As I stated before I used to struggle with self-confidence. This lead me to walk around with my head hung low and feel lonely very easily. As i began to read the bible more and more, I found out how much God loves and cares for each of us. I found how much he longed for us to draw near to him above all else and that he was right there always. When I began to see this, I found my head hanging a little higher and I had a new perspective on life. I didn’t look for approval or rejection from others. I found my strength in Christ alone, It allowed me to have confidence in the man of God that I am today. I thank the Lord every day for this because It changed the trajectory of my life. It has shown me how God wants to use me moving forward and how others need to know how loved they truly are. My goal each and everyday is to walk around with a smile on my face and joy in my heart because that might be all it takes to make someones day. The littlest things can go the longest way. What if everyone at Bethel knew how loved they were. What if instead of getting so upset at the littlest things such as the food in the DC, the printers not working, having to much homework, etc. We began to be happy that we are even here and that God is preparing us for tomorrow each and every day. We must not look past these few short years at Bethel and say that this is all about our future. There are so many broken people around us who just want a hug and who just want someone to talk to. What if we became a community where everyone felt loved. As I leave Bethel, this is the dream that i hope that i can continue to maintain. That every person that I come in to contact with will not see me for the negativity that I could be complaining about, but instead sees the love that God has poured into me first. All glory goes to Him and I pray we put our lives in perspective. If you think you have it bad, I guarantee someone has it worse. God loves you for who you are, not for who you want to be.
” Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16
Leaving College Single Is Ok
This might be the one that has been the hardest for me. I have felt pressure from so many people, including myself, through out my time at Bethel to find the women of my dreams. First of all, I think that there are very few better places to meet your future spouse then at a christian university such as Bethel. Daily I come in contact with so many beautiful women of God who love the Lord so much. This is beautiful but It can be so hard. For so long I had the false idea that if I leave Bethel without someone there must be something wrong with me. If I can’t find a women at a christian university, are my standards to high? Am i weird? There must be something wrong with me. But news flash, its okay to be single and there is so much freedom and growth that can only come through singleness. Don’t get my wrong, i desire more then anything to find a women that I can spend the rest of my life with, but that is on God’s time. Until that day comes all i can do is praise God and show others the love He first showed me. For everyone who is reading this, I pray that you don’t settle for someone just because you have to. God is all you will ever need and we must find him first. I can’t wait for the day that I get to watch my wife walking down the aisle toward me, but until that day comes, I must look upwards to the God who created me and seek him. What if we all lived this way? What if instead of being so focused on finding our spouse, we found others who wanted to find God. Along the way, those friendships might turn into romantic relationships but imagine the spiritual growth that would take place. Bethel is full of people who desire to know God more and I think we need to embrace this more. I know I need to and as I am leaving Bethel I hope that I can always ask people about their faith and how I can pray for them. I want this because its the only thing that really matters in life.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
I Corinthians 13:4-7
The Importance of Community
I want to end with this thought. In a few years when we are out of Bethel and busy with life, we will look at the community of Bethel and remember those days were there was always someone there for you. We will remember those nights at Vespers where we cried our eyes out. We will remember the endless conversations and people who we haven’t talked to since we graduated. While the faces might change, community itself is the most important thing in each of our lives. We must have people around us to support and care for us. This might be through your family, church, or friends. Without a community we aren’t able to glorify God to the fullest. We aren’t able to love others and we aren’t able to be vulnerable and promote accountability. Bethel has shown me all of these things and more through the community and has put people in my life that I know are going to be there for me tomorrow and forevermore. While we will miss this community, there will be more intimate communities that will come our ways. God uses communities to teach us and we must be actively seeking them.
The Lord has changed me in so many ways over my time at Bethel. He has shown me how to love and be loved. He has taught me how to worship and find where my true worth comes from. I couldn’t thank him enough for the countless people he has brought into my life and i pray that I don’t get so caught up in leaving this place that I miss these last few months and the people that I can meet and grow with. We all were brought to Bethel for a reason. It might be to confront a sin, meet your spouse, become a christian, find out what love is, and so many other things. It is the cry of my heart that we will embrace this community while we still can so that we can find what God wants for us through this community. God doesn’t want the leftovers of our lives, he wants the whole things. What is holding you back from giving it all to Him?
To all who read this I hope you know that you are loved more then words can express. I pray that you know that you are special and that God has brought you to where you are today for a purpose. If you trust him, he will come through. You can take that to the bank.
My Blog 